2025 has been one of the busiest, fullest years of my life. I admit, my life so far; my short and humble 22 years. But, looking back, last year will always stand out as significant for countless reasons. With this business has come a weird swell of the tides. A rush of excitement beaming with bream and fresh bubbles must come with its companion: the sweeping dredge. I fear this dredge sometimes and erroneously see it as the absence of ‘things’ rather than recognising it as the natural accompaniment to that opulent bustle. Without this absence of activity, the busy life would be devoid of meaning as its extraordinary sheen would become dull with routine. I know this, intellectually, but always fail to reconcile with it emotionally. So, every year or so, I find myself washed up on this grey beach far from any landmass named Ambition without showing proper respect.
This is the first contribution I have made recently, an understatement perhaps. I want this small entry to be a note to self of what I have done and what I plan to do shortly. As I say, 2025 has been an extraordinary year for me for so many reasons: I found myself in a brilliant relationship; travelled to parts of the world I would have never in a billion years anticipated (and enjoyed all the trappings that comes with travelling); overcame the zenith of my academic life; and nestled myself within the heart of the northern metropolis which I have come to call home. It is only on reflection that dust lifts and the way back becomes clear. The year was not free from anxieties and stresses – far too many for my liking. However, in beautiful retrospect, they are all rendered insignificant. Funny, isn’t it?
It was David Lynch who highlighted the truly gut-wrenching loss it is to experience losing an idea, and a great one at that. One’s loss in particular sits in me, like a mangled would in my back. Not writing up the experience of my journey was a grave error which frustrates me frequently. A golden opportunity presented itself to me: the opportunity to create something out of a relatively hedonistic endeavour felt significant. Yet, due to stagnation or laziness or simply being too overwhelmed by the process, I faltered at the starting line. I tried to write up the beginning of the trip but thinking in retrospect with nothing but blurred photos and half-drunk memories was not advantageous. I gave up, the tale of my first China trip lost to the annals of time. Of course, I am being dramatic. Not everyone needs to annotate their holidays. Deep down, however, this overwhelming sense of laziness has festered.
It is fair and reasonable to understand mistakes as learning opportunities. From this mistake, miraculously, an opportunity has presented itself. I’m booked on for a forthcoming trip back to China for the entire month of February to take part in the new year’s celebrations. Speaking to enough people, writing this self-aggrandising piece, only acts as ammunition for the massive bazooka named ambition. It’s target? An empty notepad which will be sufficiently obliterated (and by obliterated, I mean filled with notes). Partidge-esque metaphors aside, I’ll endeavour to make a travelogue of my movements about the great country highlighting the mad, the weird, and the wonderful which I expect to find in abundance. I hope to have this completed by the middle of March, however that is dependent on the dreaded factors.
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